moving...

I've moved! Please click here to come and visit..... Window to my Soul
I will be leaving up all of my old blogs but won't be posting on them anymore.
Hope to see you there!

the end

not saying goodnight

or i love you

for the first time in 13 years

i'm sensing the beginning of the end...

by tiffany cross on 2/5/09

blind

never forgetting what might have been,

you'll never let it go

every time i think we're good again,

i find things i didn't know.

things weighing heavy on your heart

about a girl from long ago,

you hide it fairly well from me

but i'm not blind, i always know.

"jealous and insecure" you say,

"a mountain of a mole hill"

you think that these words justify

your actions of free will.

poets write about old flames

their words ring thru and thru,

what a shame you were the one too blind to see

who it was that really loved you...

by tiffany cross on 1/29/09

crutch

so intent on watching and waiting for me to fall, instead of hoping that I'll succeed...

it has become a crutch for you, enabling you to keep the focus off of yourself and the issues that you have yet to face, let alone even begin to take on or conquer...

it's always that way in families, everyone singles out one person to focus on, one person to fault for every wrong that's been done... conveniently forgetting that they too have faults and shortcomings.

the trust has all but disappeared, coming dangerously close to just that. you have become so incredibly engrossed in what I'm doing wrong that you are completely blinded to anything at all that I've done right or good or true, you are completely convinced that success is impossible for me... for us...

maybe it's a co-dependence thing, if I change for the better, then you no longer have reasons to run away... but what you don't seem to understand is that if you have the desire to run away, all you have to do is go, instead of playing this cat/mouse game every time you feel restless...

there's nothing more that I can do to prove myself to you

love me or hate me

I am who I am

this is what it is

what more do you want from me?

by tiffany cross

unintended...

words said, taken not for what they meant,
I am paralyzed in guilt for the pain inflicted by them.
two different people with understandings unalike,
if only the true meaning of my words could be uncovered,
never intended to hurt or shame another.
thoughts constantly fester in my mind until released, at last,
although never in the appropriate way, the way I long to hear
with my own ears, with true love and kindness.
Instead, without a doubt, each word always spews
from these unfamiliar lips, not unlike toxic venom from a snake.

when will the lesson be learned that sweet honey will forever be the only way...

written by Tiffany Cross 3/14/09

boulders

someone please remove this chip from my shoulders
weight of the world, as big as a boulder
i hate myself for hurting so many
over and over
never learning from my mistakes...

i fall to my knees, screaming, arms reaching to the sky,
begging forgiveness

all falling on ears, deaf from the exhaustion of it all...

written by: tiffany cross 3/14/09