Sunday, March 29, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
by tiffany cross on 1/29/09
so intent on watching and waiting for me to fall, instead of hoping that I'll succeed...
it has become a crutch for you, enabling you to keep the focus off of yourself and the issues that you have yet to face, let alone even begin to take on or conquer...
it's always that way in families, everyone singles out one person to focus on, one person to fault for every wrong that's been done... conveniently forgetting that they too have faults and shortcomings.
the trust has all but disappeared, coming dangerously close to just that. you have become so incredibly engrossed in what I'm doing wrong that you are completely blinded to anything at all that I've done right or good or true, you are completely convinced that success is impossible for me... for us...
maybe it's a co-dependence thing, if I change for the better, then you no longer have reasons to run away... but what you don't seem to understand is that if you have the desire to run away, all you have to do is go, instead of playing this cat/mouse game every time you feel restless...
there's nothing more that I can do to prove myself to you
love me or hate me
I am who I am
this is what it is
what more do you want from me?
Saturday, March 14, 2009
I am paralyzed in guilt for the pain inflicted by them.
two different people with understandings unalike,
if only the true meaning of my words could be uncovered,
never intended to hurt or shame another.
thoughts constantly fester in my mind until released, at last,
although never in the appropriate way, the way I long to hear
with my own ears, with true love and kindness.
Instead, without a doubt, each word always spews
from these unfamiliar lips, not unlike toxic venom from a snake.
when will the lesson be learned that sweet honey will forever be the only way...
written by Tiffany Cross 3/14/09
weight of the world, as big as a boulder
i hate myself for hurting so many
over and over
never learning from my mistakes...
i fall to my knees, screaming, arms reaching to the sky,
all falling on ears, deaf from the exhaustion of it all...
written by: tiffany cross 3/14/09